All We Know For Sure Is That James Has Gone Rogue [By Ray Daley]

4 Feb

All We Know For Sure Is That James Has Gone Rogue
By Ray Daley

The office has finally returned to a state that is now fast approaching normality. What ever the hell that might be.

The news crew behind me are already reporting their lies every fifteen minutes, doling them out in sound-bite sized pieces to the baying masses, still hungry for their updates. “We know for sure he’s gone rogue!”

Lie number one. He didn’t go rogue. We aren’t exactly sure why he logged off, stood up and walked out.

“The trail of bodies he left in his wake have barely had time to cool.”

Lie number two. He didn’t kill anyone. He pushed one man over, that was the supervisor who tried to stop him leaving. And that guy picked himself up off the ground moments after our colleague had left the room.

“This frustrated psychopath finally cracked. Once, a mild mannered administrator…”

There’s lie number three. He wasn’t crazy, just highly strung. And lie number four too, he was a bloody telephone operator!

“We’ve been told we can only expect the body count to increase from this point on.”

Lie number five. He hasn’t killed anyone. How can a zero body count increase? Unless the media are out there now, murdering people in his wake, just to make their lies reality?

“The reports are still sporadic, but we are receiving updates about new victims all the time..”

How? Did the press team send their own hitmen after him? Are they killing people themselves, just to keep the story in the headlines?

“This information just in! We’ve had reports of a killing on the High Street.”

That’d be difficult, he doesn’t even take that route home. I decide I’ve had enough at that point.

“And we are…”

This is where I step in, excuse me.

“Lying to you. Sorry ladies and gents, but I’ve got to cut these idiots off and tell you the truth. I work with James. He didn’t kill anyone. He didn’t go rogue. There’s no trail of bodies. He didn’t kill anyone in the High Street, his route home doesn’t even go in that direction! He’s a nice guy. He just had a bad day on the phones. He stood up, logged off, pushed over a supervisor and left. That’s all we know for sure. Don’t listen to the news. These folks are lying to you. They’ve already murdered three innocent people that we’re aware of here. And that’s just to keep this lie in the headlines. All we know for sure is that James left. Anything else is pure speculation. I now return you to your regularly scheduled program.”

I’ve always wanted to say that. It certainly leaves the Press in utter confusion. They have to cut to commercials, with nothing more to report here. I just hope James comes back to work soon. We miss his smile.


AUTHORS NOTES:- I wrote this during the 1st week of on-floor academy at Severn Trent. James did vanish during the day. I was told he logged out, stood up, and left. And never returned. I never even saw him leave. I had a few tries at selling this, no-one wanted it, so I’m giving it away for free on the blog.


So this was Jan 2019

1 Feb

I’ve made 35 new submissions. 21 rejections. 2 acceptances.
Nothing withdrawn or not received as of yet.

Shots Of Repatriated Bastard & Sam, I Am both sold on Jan 21st to Jouth Vol 2.

There are currently 45 stories out in submission:-

I’ve got 2 stories awaiting publication in the very near future.
The Razors Edge will appear in issue 1 of The Weird And Whatnot.
How Have The Mighty Fallen? will appear in Insignia Vol 7.

I’m still hopeful that Tuck & Roll will be published this year, 2 yrs after it was sold.

I pitched the novel on twitter, no bites there.

So This Was 2018…

1 Jan

[This post replaces So This Was December…]

We’ve already reached the end of 2018.

So what’s happened this year?

SALES:- I made 6 sales this year.

Third Flatiron; “The Doomsday Machine Retires” for their Monstrosities anthology.
WolfSinger Publications; “Muse” for their Cat Tails anthology.
Mythic Magazine #7; “Not According To Design”.
Blaster Books; “The Girl On Platform Two” to Jouth Anthology, Volume 1.

2 new sales I hadn’t announced yet because I forget to do an entry for November!

The Weird & Whatnot; “The Razors Edge”.
Nomadic Delerium Press; “Super Fake” for their Future Syndicate II anthology.

ACCEPTANCES THAT AREN’T SALES:- I’ve also had an acceptance from Insignia for Volume7 of their up-coming flash anthology. This wasn’t a sale, there’s no money involved.

SUBMISSIONS:- I submitted 240 stories this year.

REJECTIONS:- I had 220 rejections this year.

Sold “The Razors Edge” to The Weird & Whatnot late November.
Sold “Super Fake” to Nomadic Delerium Press for their Future Syndicate II anthology early December. These will come out some time in 2109 (I assume?).

Hopefully Tuck & Roll will come out this year. Insignia Vol 7 is also currently under construction, that’ll feature “How Have The Mighty Fallen?”

There is one other thing happening, I just can’t give any details on it right now. As soon as I’ve been given permission, I promise I’ll tell you everything I can about that.

I got 6 new ISFDB credits this year:-
Not According to Design (2018)
An Improper State of Mind (2018)
The Doomsday Machine Retires (2018)
Muse (2018)
Uncle Ping’s Evening Farewell (2018)
The Girl on Platform Two (2018)

My total of new stories written this year so far is now 102.

My 2018 writing stats:-
Stories completed=102
Longest story=7022 words
Shortest story=104 words
Camp Nano April ’18=17 stories; 39,799
Camp Nano July ’18=28 stories; 63,689 words
NanoWriMo ’18= 24 stories; 53,510 words

Total words written=224,956.

Summing Up:- I made some money, had some stories published, won Nanowrimo.

What’s currently in submission in 2018 #11

17 Dec

As the last one was in November I thought I’d update you.

What’s currently out in submission?

out in subs december 2018

Acceptances:- Super Fake to Future Syndicate II.
Rejections:- 215 in total, at moment of making this post.
Publications:- Nothing this month.
Withdrawals:- None this month.

30 stories now out there.

What’s currently in submission in 2018 #10

29 Nov

As the last one was in October (I forgot to put that up here at the time, I’m really sorry) I thought I’d update you.

What’s currently out in submission?

OIS Nov 18

Acceptances:- How Have The Mighty Fallen to Insignia & The Razors Edge to The Weird & Whatnot. I’m guessing neither of those will come out this year.
Rejections:- 211 in total, at moment of making this post.
Publications:- Nothing this month.
Withdrawals:- None this month.

33 stories now out there.

What’s currently in submission in 2018 #9

29 Nov

As the last one was in September I thought I’d update you.

What’s currently out in submission?

out to sub oct 18

Acceptances:- None this month.
Rejections:- Again, too many to count.
Publications:- Not According To Design is out!
Withdrawals:- None this month.

35 stories now out there.

Patrolling In An Afghan Wonderland (2018 version)

27 Nov

Patrolling In An Afghan Wonderland
By Ray Daley.

Sand’s too bright, it’s just glistening
Past the wire, Dickers listening,
The desert is shite, Looks crappy tonight
Patrolling in an Afghan wonderland.

Gone away, the gozome bird
Here to stay, the radar dome bird
But it feels so wrong, As we go along
Patrolling in an Afghan wonderland.

In the compound we can’t build a snowman
Pretend we’re not eating Biscuits, Brown.
Ask us if we’re worried, We’ll say no man!
Just tell us that the Op is drawing down?

Later on, We’ll conspire
To ask IS, for a ceasefire.
Will the brass stand us down, then pass beers around?
Patrolling in an Afghan wonderland.

Sleigh bells ring, Are you listening?
With AK’s; the country’s bristling
Can we please go home? Leave this place alone,
Patrolling in an Afghan wonderland.