Emergency Wedding List

22 Feb

A friend mentioned on Facebook that she needed to write an “Wedding Emergency List”.
My brain came up with this, for starters.

A) Wine.
B) More wine, in case A) runs out.
C) Chocolate.
D) Chocolate flavoured wine. If this doesn’t exist, invent it.
E) The phone number of the most sensible person you know.
F) Tissues, for crying into.
G) Wine scented tissues, for when A) & B) run out.
H) A friend, someone who won’t tell you your bum looks big in that dress.
I) Someone to marry, your personal choice of gender. Well, it is a wedding, right?
J) Shoes you can’t walk in. Well, it is a wedding, right?
K) A venue half the “friends” can’t easily reach. It’s your big day, fuck them, right?
L) An annoying child who’ll slide across the dancefloor at exactly the wrong moment, probably knocking your mum over.
M) A responsible adult to slap said child.
N) Cake. What’s a wedding without cake?
O) Parents, unless you’re eloping or they’re dead. Else proxy parents.
P) Alcohol. Something to blame all your mistakes of the day on. The perfect patsy.

Playing with The Doctor

15 Feb

“Everyone inside!”

“Listen stranger, there are 380 million people on this planet. And you’re suggesting we all get inside that tiny blue shed? Who are you, some kind of mad man?”

“That tiny blue shed is a TARDIS. Gallifreyan technology. By the look on your face, you’ve already heard of us? Good! Because I’m The Doctor, and I’m definitely a mad man with a box. Now everyone, get inside! Nobody dies today, because I say so!”

Apparently 3 novels?

14 Feb

So, after doing an inventory on my various “stuff” in the “to do” folder I knew there was at least one novel.
Maybe two, at most. There are actually three.
These three don’t include The Invisible Knight novel I started late into my RAF career that’s possibly somewhere in my room.
It might be in the room. I’m not 100% sure.

So what is there, actually?

A YA title. An SF title about the last 2 people. An SF/Horror/Survival title about a group surviving a crisis.
I don’t want to disclose titles or any more than I have as above.

3 potential novels though. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

Welcome To The Future, a flash fiction story

14 Feb

Welcome To The Future, a flash fiction story by Ray Daley

“So, this is a room in the future?”

“Yes sir.”

“Oh, a robot? Cool! Hang on, you’re not going to kill me in my sleep, are you?”

“No sir. I’m a friendly robot.”

“Soooo, the Future, eh? Flying cars yet?”

“No sir.”

“Hoverboards yet?”

“Afraid not sir.”

“Future’s looking pretty shit so far. Okay, screw flying cars. How about self-making beds?”

“Yes sir.”

“You’ve got those?”

“Yes sir!”

“Okay, you can bog off then. Me and this self-making bed are about to become very good friends.”

MANY HOURS LATER.

“Robot! Robot! Get in here!”

“Yes sir? How may I be of service?”

“This shitty self-making bed doesn’t work! Piece of crap. Why doesn’t it work?”

“Erm. This isn’t the bedroom sir. It’s through there. This is the Living Room, sir.”

“Oh. So this so-called self-making bed is actually?”

“A sofa sir.”

“Don’t be funny robot. It doesn’t become you. Bed’s that way then?”

“Yes sir. Good night sir.” Trundles off. “The droids at the club’ll never believe this. In the wrong room? Stupid meat puppet!”

THE END.

Getting educated!

14 Feb

Just finished writing a short, 1990 words.
Learnt about The Marine Corps, and Lee Harvey Oswald.
Most informative.

Waiting For God, a flash fiction story

13 Feb

Waiting For God, a flash fiction story by Ray Daley

 

As the sun went out, the Earth had little more than minutes left.

The entity waited patiently, as it had done since the moment this Universe had formed. As it waited, an avatar popped into existence next to it.

“What ya doing?” it asked the entity.

“Waiting,” said the entity.

“What for?” asked the avatar.

“Not sure,” said the entity, “they just told me to wait here until something happened.”

“Something? Like what?” asked the avatar.

“Don’t know,” said the entity, “they seemed pretty sure I’d know it when I saw it though.”

“Who are ‘they’?” asked the avatar.

“The people who made me. And this Universe.”

“Did they make me?” asked the avatar.

“Nope. I made you. I was getting bored. I wanted someone to talk to.”

As the Earth froze, all life as we know it ended. Then the light from the sun faded forever.

“That looks a bit like something, don’t you think?” asked the avatar, pointing towards the frozen Earth.

“It might be. I don’t think that’s it though.” said the entity.

“It?”

“What I’m waiting for.” said the entity.

“So what’re you going to do then?” asked the avatar.

“I’m just gonna keep on waiting. I’ll know it when I see it. They were sure I would be. Can’t question your creators, can you?”

“I have,” said the avatar.

“Good point.” said the entity, and with that, the avatar popped out of existence. And the entity sat quietly in the blackness of space, utterly unaware it had already missed its moment.

THE END.

Word back from Google

11 Feb

They examined my DMCA request and found in my favour.
The offending title has been taken down.

This took 21 days from initial request.

I’ve filed numerous more requests now.
Hopefully those will be processed quicker.

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