My First Band

21 Oct

My First Band

It was probably late 1980, I was in junior school. We’d just become fourth years. And Two Tone was the big thing. I lived in Coventry, so our city was suddenly the centre of the musical world. We liked what we heard, and some of us wanted to do more than just listen to music.

We wanted to be in a band.

I’m not sure exactly how it happened, someone maybe told a teacher that we had a band that did a few songs, suddenly we were asked to perform at an assembly one day. So we had to practise. There were about twelve of us in the band at one point, people sang, some of us danced. I wrote words and stole other people’s tunes.

We were called “The Boys In Blue“. No reference to The Police, though they were just breaking through at the time.

We had three songs.

The Boys In Blue Theme. Basically we sang, “The boys in blue are after you,” repeated it about 50 times then stopped. It was hardly Ivor Novello winning stuff.

Scooter. One of the lads looked a bit like Scooter from The Muppets so I wrote some words. “There’s a man over there with glasses in his hair, Scooter. He’s got cuts on his face and he looks a disgrace, Scooter.” Sung to the tune of “I can’t get no satisfaction” by The Rolling Stones. Again, hardly genius but it was creative.

Runaround. I can’t remember the words of this one really. Something along the lines of “All we do all day is run around, run around…” and the lads who normally danced ran around behind us as we sang.

We somehow managed to persuade a teacher to let us practise in a classroom at lunch and breaktimes which was normally as massive no-no.

So we’d gather together, close the door and practise our three songs and dancing which lasted for about six minutes and change. Everyone came to practise, everyone worked really hard, everyone had a bloody good time and enjoyed themselves.

All twelve of us.

Then, come the day of the assembly at least three people were mysteriously off sick. Several other people suddenly lost their bottle and dropped us like a hot potato.

In the end I think five of the original twelve went on and actually performed in front of the assembly. We’d promised six minutes. If we did a minute, I’m a Dutchman.

We did about thirty seconds of The Boys In Blue Theme. We quickly fell apart from a mixture of fear and embarrassment and looked like complete tossers.

Suffice to say, no-one was ever asked to do anything like that again at an assembly.

But that was my first band. And we were SHIT.

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