Ten Things You Can Do To A Newly Elected President. A flash fiction story (based in no way on reality) by Ray Daley

9 Nov
Ten Things You Can Do To A Newly Elected President.
A flash fiction story (based in no way on reality) by Ray Daley.
1) Assassination. It’s a country with many gun owners. Sniper rifles (including the Barrett .50 calibre which will deliver a kill shot from over a mile away) can easily be purchased from any half decent gun shop.
Assassination is a common way to dispose of a President you no longer want in office. It’s been tried many times too.
2) Set them on fire. Please note that the new President elect wears a wig, most of which are extremely flammable. Couple that with the amount of hairspray he probably uses and you’ve got a recipe for immolation.
The White House has burned down before, there is historical precedant for this too.
3) Complain loudly. The Constitution allows for Freedom Of Speech so put it to good use. Have a good old moan about the fool you elected.
4) Revolution. Well, you did it to get rid of the British. Who’s to say it isn’t a good idea now. They call them revolutions because eventually the time to have another always comes around.
5) Impeachment. This is an idea that is often suggested but very rarely implemented. This also has historical precedance and is an excellent option to those who don’t like getting blood on their hands.
6) Bankrupty. You are already too late for this option, your President elect is already emotionally bankrupt. We suggest you find another method.
7) Start a Civil War. So called because they aren’t very civil. Countryman stands against countryman, one nation separated by their countries desires. Lots of you want Chester Cheeto in office. Lots of you don’t. A fight to the death over who was right, go!
8) Ask for a recount. This didn’t happen for Al Gore and it sure as shit isn’t going to happen now. Sorry about that.
9) Tolerate him. Who knows, he might turn out to be a better President than Nixon?
10) Leave the country. America isn’t the only place to live. Leave your President with no citizens to preside over. Abandon him in your hordes.
All of these things are possible. It’s the land of the free. But you could make it the land of the empty.
“And the home of anyone stupid enough to vote for him…”

One Response to “Ten Things You Can Do To A Newly Elected President. A flash fiction story (based in no way on reality) by Ray Daley”

  1. inkbiotic November 9, 2016 at 4:58 pm #

    Let’s hope that your powers of suggestion are strong… 😉

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