The Princess & The Pee, a flash fiction story

22 Oct

The Princess & The Pee, a flash fiction story by Ray Daley.

“Look, it’s bloody cold in this castle!”
“You couldn’t get up and use the garderobe?”
“I’m on top of 57 mattresses. I’d need a ladder to get down!”
“But still, you couldn’t have used the chamber pot?”
“It was on the floor! I’m half a mile off the damn ground! I just drank too much mead!”
“I’m totally burning the top 3 mattresses then!”
“Yeah, I’d burn 5 at least.”
“Just promise me it won’t happen again?”
“It’s a cold castle! It wasn’t my fault!”
“I’ll get you a fire in here then.”
“I’d just burn the whole bloody place down. I envy that Snow White, she’s got a lovely cottage in the forest.”
“It’s not right, shacked up with 7 men. So, we’re burning 5 mattresses?”
“5 sounds safe.”
“And putting the chamber pot on a rope so you can pull it up next time.”
“There’s not going to BE a next time.”

THE END.

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