They Don’t Understand, Nor Do They Care (A Flash Fiction Story by Ray Daley)

12 May

Never argue with invading aliens, especially not ones who are twenty-three feet tall, dyslexic and have teeth as long as an adults arm.

But they totally weren’t here to invade us. Or eat us, or enslave us.
It was the weirdest request. “We wish to take part in Sprot,” they asked.

Sprot? What the hell was sprot?

“Yeah, sprot. We can probably help you out in that area. Accommodate your sproting related needs, so to speak. Erm, what kind of Sprot, exactly?” Our intermediary said.

“The running sprots, the throwing sprots. We wish to take on your very best sprotspeople.” they explained.

And then the penny dropped. They meant sport. So we hosted them a sproting event unlike any other. Where the point was explained very carefully to the athletes of Earth, “Listen, no matter how bad they are – let them win.”

Even the great Usain Bolt threw his race, and did it with a smile and extreme diginity though you could tell he was dying inside at being told to lose on purpose.

But the aliens were overjoyed at their total victory. “We are happy to have beaten your greatest sprotsmen. Thonkyar Earth creatures.”

And then we waved them off, back on their merry way to their own planet. Let the errors go man, we survived an alien invasion for crying out loud.

We are not alone. Someone else in the Universe also loves sprot.

THE END

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